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2015

Hemorrhage

QU Montage

By Anthony DiMartino

We need to talk.
I was on a train to Edinburgh when I received that text
And that talk told me everything
I didn’t want to hear about 
The thing I knew would happen 
But couldn’t accept.
I’m still related to the monster
That used to live under my bed
It’s waited twenty years to resurface
Two hundred forty months of patience
Seven thousand and four days
The hours passed like minutes
But now it’s fastened to me, like a tumor
Nearly passing through the corridors
Of a newer neater neighborhood
Noiselessly, marrying itself to prostitutes
To fulfill that quick sex fix it was lacking for 
The years after I was born
It caused trauma and despair
Unnoticed by all but me
It feels its way in and out of neural pathways
Memories and all the moments we shared
It drills at the familiar sore spots
The ones it left unknowingly through the years
I remember when I was born
It was there with me, smiling
We have pictures together
I’ve collected them 
We used to be friendly, 
at a distance
Nearly shaped like a grizzly bear
A clumsy, rough, shameless beast
An exhibit
For the museum of domestic life
It severed the few veins we shared
When the monster awoke one day
Leaving a wake of scabs and
Mistreated mental scars because
Of its startling realization about life
And the meaning of family and marriage
The parasite still gnaws at my skull
Every time I think of holidays and weekends
And where I used to live
I want it to feel sad 
But there’s nothing I can do about it
I’m helpless like a goldfish
Swimming to the surface of a leaking tank,
Because I was wrong 
Because he’s the Frankenstein 
And I’m his banished creation.